No one begins a relationship thinking that it will someday end. Most of us join our lives to another person’s with the hope that the relationship will stand the test of time. It is particularly difficult when children are involved. Often it’s the children that struggle to understand the separation and suffer through the loss of a parental figure in their everyday life.
Be Open to Expression
Children are little people and the way they express their hurt can be as wide and varied as any adult’s. The best thing that parents can do is to simply be open to children expressing their feelings in ways they’re most comfortable with. One child may choose to draw and indirectly discuss the family separation through the use of pictures. Another child may express his hurt feelings passionately and directly. Allow freedom of expression so that children know that you are in full support of them and that you’re tolerant.
Maintain a Balanced Activity Level
During this difficult time, it’s easy to want to hang around the house and not do much. However, this is not a good idea. It’s better to maintain your activity level in order to keep the children stimulated and entertained. Staying active lets the kids see that they still have things to look forward to in life and it gets their mind off the separation. Maintaining a healthy activity level also allows the kids to stay engaged in these outside of the problem.
The best thing you can do for your kids after a separation is to practice maintaining as much peace as possible. Kids need to know that despite the difficulty of the situation, the greater good prevails. Peace is a way of letting children see this concept. Be civil to your ex-partner and work towards having amicable moments around each other. It will help the children to accept the situation much easier. Kids don’t want to see a war. Instead, children are calmed by a separation that allows everyone to still be friends. This is particularly effective when it comes to serious family situations like an illness. If your ex-spouse is having serious health issues that cause him to visit a houston urology doctor, the kids need to know that the family bond is strong enough for everyone to be supportive.
After a separation, children need to be able to express themselves freely, keep a normal schedule, and live in a peaceful environment. These three factors are powerful when it comes to helping children, as well as adults, get past a tough separation.