‘The other day we did for the first time was horrible.
But if you carry only four months together.
‘You see, and I thought it would not happen … never thought it would be different with her.
-And what happened?
Well silly! That’s what bothers me most, that was not important. Everything was perfect, we were always agree on everything and we discussed the other day by a nonsense.
From that day David was quite scared because he had first discussed with his new girlfriend. He believes discuss and disagree are signs that the relationship is falling apart.
This had happened with all his previous girlfriends. For some reason he thinks that having different ideas is destructive to the couple. At the time it reaches the first discussion depressed, you do not think I can do anything to fix what happened and just cut.
He does not realize that it was he who has made that argument is destructive. Rather than seeing it as something normal, because for very much in love that two people are both remain human beings with free will, he has wanted it interpreted as the end of everything.
Their belief is that two people are in love always have to agree on everything and never argue. For him a good relationship just means that every day be exciting and full understanding between them as if your mind off it. That is your ideal partner, of course, is very far from reality.
True that having two similar views, among other things, is what usually make love arises. But as I said, similar, not identical.
Being in love does not mean agree on everything that is said and proposed. Regardless of what two people want before or after will be a time when they will not agree. The difference is that, when it happens, you want to see as destruction or as normal because everyone has their point of view on the world and life.
You may also like to read another article on AnarchismToday: How confess my love?
Not to be confused with those couples that 90% of the time discussing, 8% without speaking for discussing and 2% having sex to reconcile without having to speak are passed, because as they try only get discussed. These are people who prefer to have a relationship that makes them unhappy because they believe it is better than being single.
I say that disagreements and arguments in a relationship are something that go inside the package be a couple. These situations must be seen as normal and as a way to show your partner how you feel. And many people do not see it that way. Some interpret the discussions as David, but I also know others who happens whenever they feel guilty. It does not matter if it was a big discussion or very slight hand, or if it was nonsense, or something important. The fact of having discussed with the person you are in love makes them feel great guilt.
That is, they feel guilty because for these people should not disagree with the couple. Instead of wanting to see beyond they remain only in that they have discussed and that cannot be done because it is destructive.
If live more years together, then understand, in the end all couples argue, but at first … that’s unthinkable. David ‘he said.
This really is good. True, sometimes there are couples who spend the first few months without question, but it is not because they are in love but because they want to please the other person twenty – four hours a day. That’s another belief: people in love have to do everything possible to please, but we’ll discuss this later.
I have always seemed very curious permits than we with everyone except with our partner. You may disagree with the family and hundreds of times we think the exchange rate for the world. You can argue with friends every now and never think it’s a problem. But if you do it with your partner is interpreted as a sign of disaster.
When a couple speaks on a topic and each expresses his point of view, it will be taken as a sign that all is well in the relationship and each other very much, if you have the same opinion. But in case of disagreement the situation be interpreted as not want because they think that two people in love always have to agree. But in reality all that happens is that they are saying they do not think alike on the subject they are talking about. As simple as that.