A lot of people who look for a Tustin, CA counselor do so because they experience unhealthy emotions. Those include hurt, jealousy, sadness, and anger. Each of these are unpalatable and unproductive. However, they are also transformation catalysts! It is impossible to live a life without experiencing negative emotions, no matter how positive we are. All of us will feel in a way we don’t want to feel at some point in our lives. When this happens, however, we often feel guilty and ashamed, and this becomes a negative spiral that makes us feel even more anxious and unhappy, and so on. So what is the purpose of unhealthy emotions and this catalyst for change they supposedly bring about?
Emotional Pain Can Be Encouraging
You must learn to see pain as a form of encouragement. Experiencing pain means that you feel, and that you know something should be better. For many, pain is seen as a stimulus for both inward and outward reflection, and this will inevitably lead to change. If you recognize that you experience pain, and you reflect to find out what causes you pain, but you then don’t change anything about it, you will only be sucked further into that pain. This happens sometimes, leaving us trapped in that endless cycle of negativity, but there will come a point at which you reflect and suddenly understand what needs to change.
What is most important is that you do not scorn, condemn, ridicule, or judge pain, be that your own or someone else’s. It is a strong indicator that something isn’t right, and those who experience pain are on a journey towards resolving that. This requires support, not judgment.
Learn to Love Unhealthy Emotions
It can be very difficult to love unhealthy emotions, but by throwing a positive, healthy emotion, i.e. love, at something negative, we instantly start to improve things. It gives us the basis to move on. Loving unhealthy emotions means loving yourself, because it means you accept that you are not 100% perfect. It gives you the opportunity to become stimulated to change, while at the same time leaving you humble about your imperfections. Once you come to face the reality of your life, and what it is that is causing you pain, you will also be able to face the freedom of getting rid of it.
Pain is empowering. Yes, the emotions are unhealthy, but they are there to teach us a lesson. They are there to put us on a path towards recovery and to change our lives, so that we no longer experience that pain. And once we do that, we also start to live even better, healthier lives, thereby avoiding further pain in the future. Most of us need a degree of help with this, as it is easier said than done, but that is what a counselor is for. They can help you to make sure that you can find the change within you and become a better person.