Behind it all is a difficult child cannot express emotion

As for their insecurity the difficult child wants to feel recognized in every action undertaken, it is important to offer emotional strategies to stop this constant external reinforcement need

Behind every difficult child emotional chaos hides covered with anger, and even disobedience, which is never easy to address by their parents or teachers.

Sometimes we is easier to resort to punishment or those increases words tone that only succeed in further intensify their negative emotions, frustration and even low self – esteem.

We may never know why some children come into the world with a more complex character than others. Now, far from seeking a reason the difficult character of our children must understand simply that some people have more needs, who needs more attention.

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The difficult child, the child plaintiff

The difficult child does not listen, does not obey and often unmeasured react to certain situations. This makes us to fall into a circle of suffering where the link with that child is being charged of tension, anxiety and tears.

Something they usually do many parents and many mothers is to ask why. Am I a bad mother? Am I doing something wrong?

Before falling into these states of depression in which fuel further frustration, worth implementing these strategies.

Assume that we have a more demanding child

There are children who grow up alone, almost without knowing why they are more mature, responsive and obedient while independent.

• Instead, it is possible that some of his brothers show since the first months of life needs more attention. They are babies cry more than usual, sleeping little and go from laughter to tears in seconds.
• This should make us understand that there are children “hiper-demand”. They need more reinforcements, more support, words and safety.
• Far from feel guilty for having “done something wrong” we must understand that parenting style is not always originates with the difficult child.

Now it is our responsibility to find an adequate response to the demanding child, and it requires patience, effort and much affection.

The emotional world of difficult child

If adults and difficult for us to understand and manage our emotions, to a demanding child you will be even more complicated. Therefore, it is worth considering what basic needs first has a difficult child.

• The difficult child wants to feel recognized in everything he does. They are insecure children who need reinforcements very often. When they do not find or do not get frustrated and feel misunderstood.
• Causes low self-esteem feel jealous, seeking our attention to feel good, they feel more intense emotions like fear and loneliness.
• As they grow, the sense of personal insecurity and lack of recognition translates into anger and overreactions, when, in the background, so there is only fear, sadness and anguish.
• It is necessary to channel these emotions and offer strategies for the child to leave many external reinforcements need to feel good. You must be able to manage their own emotional world with our help.

You may also like to read another article on AnarchismToday: Practicing mindfulness with your children

Keys to help the difficult child

The power of positive reinforcement

Many parents and many mothers do not quite accept or understand positive reinforcement. Now it is necessary to clarify some aspects of this educational strategy.

• Positive reinforcement is not to give a hug when a child does something he should not. It is more than that:  it is not to use the punitive punishment or cry because then an even more negative reaction in the child occurs.
• We must approach the child to ask why he has made such a “dirty trick”. Calmly, we say that the act committed is not correct and explain why. Then we will tell you how I should have acted.
• Finally, we make use of positive reinforcement: “I trust you”, “I know you can do better”, “I support you, I love you and hope for the best, do not disappoint me.”

Provide confidence, provide opportunities and set limits

The child must understand very early that we all have limits, to have rights that have to fulfill certain obligations. We do adults, and children cannot be less.

• It is necessary that the child used to habits, some routines and know what is expected of him at all times.

Seeking children need security and if we educate in highly structured where prime positive reinforcement environments, we will help you feel calmer.

• Dale trust, convince him that he is capable of doing many things, encourage him to have responsibilities which increase their self – esteem.

The importance of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence must be present in every child rearing. It is necessary to help you identify your emotions and translate into words what he feels.

Since very little we inured to the emotional communication that “what you feel.” You must know how to express that sadness, that anger that fears…

Thus you can make use of emotional release, but to do so, we must show trust and closeness. Never judge by what you say, or laugh. You need to be responsive and always promote a fluid, entertaining and accomplice dialogue.