What your job can teach you about your relationship

We tend to think that the job is where you will suffer (at least a little) provided a living. The house and the couple, however, is a safe, loving and understanding refuge (at least a little).

But some believe that the work is much easier than love. It is called Alain de Botton, a philosopher and is dedicated to getting us out of the routine with phrases like this through YouTube videos.

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Why do you think it is easier to work than relationships?

Mainly because our bosses at work, colleagues and even ourselves start from the idea that we are mediocre. That to get us to fulfill our role must be to form and give us time to accumulate some experience. You need to evaluate ourselves from time to time and that, when communicating the results of the evaluation; we must start with the good and for every negative comment to make positive seven. All this to maintain a good working environment, so we can perform. In return they expect us to conduct ourselves with professionalism. In other words, we know to control our irritation and moodiness and we talk about things we do not like calmly, in a civilized manner, without offending anyone.

In love, however, our partner on the idea that we are exceptional. We are that person who understands them without words. To not to explain anything, you already know. When after several months or years of relationship this telepathic communication begins to fail, rather than going to communicate with words, we are more inclined to suspect that the other refuses to understand. This lack of understanding makes us think that perhaps not our soul mate, what scares us, especially if there are children and a mortgage involved.

They have made us think that we should be wanting for what we are. In fact that’s the beauty of love in spite of all the defects that we know we have, someone finds us irresistible. We make a negative comment is almost certainly a betrayal and an alarm signal: what we are no longer valid? Already you not want us as before?

For some reason assumed that we are all capable of love, as long as demos with the appropriate partner. Erich Fromm said this is like to assume that we are all great painters, if not paint well is because we find the right model.

You may also like to read another article on AnarchismToday: Avoiding getting stuck in your profession

At work, fortunately, it is understood that we have no idea until we cannot form properly.

Alain de Botton saying how difficult it is running a nuclear power plant, it is still much easier than trying to be happy next to another human being in a sexual relationship that lasts for years. There is nothing more complicated in the world. We are so complex, our expectations are so high, and our romantic culture is so poor that to leave home on a Monday morning to return to work can be a real relief.

To think that we are not worthy of love default, NO we love and we are not able to make someone else happy with our mere presence scares. But if we reflect a little, the idea that we are exceptional and that our partner does what a relief.

The search for love is no longer a lottery in which nothing depends on us. It’s more like looking for work. Getting an appointment is like an interview, a first step. Start living together is like signing a permanent contract, a good start. But it will not do us any good if we are not there every morning at the agreed time, neat and professional, willing to make mistakes, admit our mistakes, try again, give everything to win the next promotion.