Independence in the couple: 5 basic rules

To enjoy a healthy and lasting relationship, independence in the couple is very important. In today’s article, we propose 5 rules that can help you to take stock of the situation or as a stimulus to start working on it.

Often one is led to think that life as a couple requires spending much of one’s time with the partner. In reality there are many other ways of conceiving the relationship. Many times, independence in couples is the key to a healthy and lasting relationship.

Living anchored to the partner can be harmful. Acting in this way can lead to feeling saturated, suffocated and often not having personal projects to implement. Maintaining a certain independence in the couple allows us to enjoy time to dedicate to ourselves, a space in which to reflect and experience peace on a personal and professional level.

On the other hand, it is also important to learn to control one’s ego so as not to influence the couple’s relationship too much and thus avoid putting one’s ambitions and personal desires in the foreground with respect to those of the partner. Well, all this can be difficult if you are used to sharing all the time with your partner, as the other may feel obliged to participate in activities that he does not like.

Independence in the couple: Because it is important

Often the lack of independence in the couple is linked to excessive emotional dependence. If you fail to cultivate and maintain a good dose of independence, you risk arriving at a situation where you believe you are not able to do anything without your partner, thus relegating yourself to a dangerous comfort zone.

Well, to mature on a personal level and give the right value to the relationship, it is important to dedicate some time to yourself, go out with your friends or have other projects. But this is possible only if there is a good level of interdependence in the couple.

Independence in couples makes us understand that we can feel good and be happy both together and as individuals.

In short, independence in the couple allows us to enjoy life and  give the right value to time spent with the partner . On the other hand, it is also useful for learning to manage jealousy and the sense of possession.

How to maintain independence in the couple

To enjoy a healthier relationship, we offer some useful tips to achieve a good level of independence:

1. Accept yourself to accept the other

Practicing a little introspection is fundamental to learning to love and to give the right value to oneself and, by extension, to appreciate the partner more. It will allow us to establish better relationships even with friends and family.

Secondly, we must be aware of what differentiates us from others, such as personal tastes, opinions or hobbies. Valuing the traits that define our personality will help us understand that it is not necessary to adapt our tastes to those of those around us.

2. Talk to the partner

Another important aspect is to talk to your partner about the need for more space and independence .

In this way, it will be possible to make him understand that spending some time separated is actually positive also for the relationship and that there is nothing wrong with that. Because healthy growth on an individual level also has positive effects on the relationship.

3. Be sincere

When time is spent without the partner, it is essential to maintain open and sincere communication. In this way, it will be easier to avoid misunderstandings, doubts or even difficulties related to jealousy.

This does not mean that we must continually give explanations to the partner about everything we do, but they must not even hide important facts or keep secrets that could compromise the couple’s relationship.

4. Keep your individual space

Giving value to one’s personal dimension is a good thing both for the relationship and for oneself. Taking a walk, seeing that movie that we like so much, reading, playing sports or doing something we love are all important moments that contribute to well-being. If we leave all these things behind, sooner or later they will start to fail us, which could make us uneasy.

These small pleasures allow you to build your own private corner in which to take refuge to experience some peace and relaxation.

5. Establish sound limits, the foundation of independence in the couple

The limits protect our personal space. It is therefore essential to clarify which behaviors of the partner we find negative, offensive or invasive. Likewise, we will have to respect his tastes, his values, his beliefs and his feelings.

As is natural, dedicating time to oneself is fundamental to living a long and satisfying life. It allows you to grow significantly both personally and professionally and to cultivate a richer and more fruitful social life.